I was laying on the floor trying to catch a cool breeze in the hot August evening. I was thinking about my family – Roosevelt in a Mexican hospital being treated for cancer issues. Eileen and the kids were there as were Paul and Jeff. Three of my four brothers in prayer and in love – in Mexico. Jeff interrupted my little reverie to tell me “He’s gone, but it ain’t over yet!” Somewhere inside I knew it…we’d spent so much time fasting and praying and believing that like many of us – we don’t take the cue from the Father.
As I lay there I rolled over on my face and cried out to God “God, I know he’s up there with you now so can you kick him out? Can you send him back? He has children who need him and he’s my baby brother…” Typical 1st born syndrome, as if this is in any way a reflection of me! Well, I could neither control it nor influence it as I waited – in the silence, God was silent. And I knew.
I knew that some things would go unsaid, that some things would be unfinished. I knew he wouldn’t get to see the condo God blessed me with and he so desperately wanted me to buy. I knew Eileen and the kids would miss him terribly – us too. I knew he wouldn’t be in pain anymore. I knew he had stepped into heaven and wouldn’t want to come back. In that moment I knew what heaven must be like because I knew how much Roosevelt loved being a father to Trinity and Israel and a husband and a brother and an evangelist and a mentor to young people. I’d been with him when he visited a church for the first time in 4 or 5 years and the kids so fondly remembered him because he’d done a youth camp there. I knew that him being in the presence of the Father meant that I would see him no more on earth. How encouraging that was; to get a glimpse of heaven through the eyes of my absent baby brother.
So a year later, no longer broken hearted I write in memoriam to the baby boy. By the way, Eileen has provided an update/tribute on YouTube , beautifully done. I’m so proud of her, she’s been out on the road a bit, sharing the good news of the gospel, the kids have gone with her too, and they’ve shared publicly! Praise God! They’re working on the legacy and we’re even going to be working on a project together. I’m very excited about that! Eileen has been asked to do a missions trip to Malawi, Africa this fall…the same one Roosevelt did around this time two years ago. NuNation is thriving and on July 18, 2010 graduated their very first class! God has been so very good to them.
And He has been an amazing God to me! Last year this time I knew I would have to deal with breast cancer – but I decided not to. I decided to believe the word of the Lord, accept my healing and while waiting for the manifestation of it begin caring for my temple as if the Holy Ghost dwells therein. My cancer experience was wonderful because I was never sick; just a little queasy every once in a while. So while ‘in treatment’ I, lost my hair & got a wonderful near bald look that I really love and it looks good on me too (so I’ve been told!). I bought a beautiful condo – SUPERNATURALLY!!! Trust me when I say “God did it!” One of the side effects of chemo is ‘chemo brain’ – well, chemo brain allowed me to slow down and hear God. I even learned to let God finish His sentence and have gotten so much revelation because of it. I’ve written 4 songs, 2 of them during this cancer journey. I’ve got 2 more books to write. I’m starting a publishing company called Manifold Grace Publishing House. I’m back to work now, just got a new car, have lost 35 pounds (have 30 more to lose) and ♫ I FEEL GOOD, like a child of God should♫ A lot can happen in a year.
Rho has often said he learned a lot from me, well, once upon a time he was my baby – he and Jeff. And I learned a lot from Rho. I learned that trusting God is the only way, there is no stronger force in my life than my faith. We are already creatures of love – God is love and we are created in His image, but faith; faith allows grace to propel you and cover you and rescue you and protect you and save you. Faith gives you wings as the stronger yours is the higher you soar, the more you can see miracles, the clearer your destiny path becomes. To quote Rho “there will always be fear and there is always faith ~ choose faith, God has not given us the spirit of fear!” In honor of my brother I encourage you to have faith! Have faith to know God as a Father, a Healer, a Miracle Worker, the Ultimate Banker, the Prince of Peace, the Comforter, the Answer to every prayer, the Restorer, the Problem Solver! Have faith to live the life God has for you, it’s so much better than what you can ask or think.
Finally, thank all of you who have remembered Rho, you should know that we appreciate your thoughts and your prayers. You can check out Eileen's website @ http://pthirtyone.com/
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