He said "You're Beautiful to ME!"

Another Sunday morning and I find myself doing the same thing I do every Sunday morning. The bed has 3 or 4 different outfits on it, each unsuitable; for whatever reason. The clock is ticking and I’m determined not to be late – not another Sunday. If only I had done this last night, but I had to do my nails.

It bugged me that I was having this same experience again. So, I began having a conversation in my head with myself “What is your problem? You go to church every Sunday. Service is at the same time every week. Get yourself together. You’re going to worship and serve the Lord, not enter a fashion contest.”

My other self responds “I know that and I’m not trying to win a fashion contest – obviously, but I’m old school and we dress up for church.” Now I try to engage Him in this tirade. “Lord, I just like to look nice when I come to worship in your house – I can dress up to go to other events in the world, why can’t I dress up to go to church?”

And when He answered me it was totally unexpected and I was blown away. He said “You’re beautiful to me!”

“What God, You’re saying I’m beautiful to You? Okay Darlene, you need to stop talking to yourself and get moving.” But I began moving slower and slower as I approached the shower. Did He just tell me I was beautiful? Is this my imagination or a trick of the enemy trying to slow me down? He answered me right away.

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

“I know I am, but I’m talking about looking nice to celebrate You at church.”

“No, you’re talking about looking nice for man – for the people you are there with. Do you need their approval?”

The shower is therapeutic now as my mind hesitates to continue this conversation, but my spirit man engages. “God, you know I am not overly moved by what others think of me, I kinda know who I am and don’t need anyone to approve this message. I know I am Your child, I know I am a…”

“You think you know, but do you? Because you’re single, you’re not sure if your aesthetics are intact. So you wait for someone to tell you.”

I ponder this revelation. Is that true? Am I looking to be affirmed – really? I knew when I bought this blouse or that skirt or those shoes they were – uh…um, perfect for me. Even if I didn’t have anything to go with it, I knew it would be a piece I would enjoy wearing. And I wasn’t thinking about what anyone else would think about it. Wait a minute! “God, I am NOT trying to have a conversation about fashion with you! I just wanna…”

“Oh, you think this conversation is about fashion? Do you think I care about your favorite color or that you like to look this way or that? Do you think that’s what makes you beautiful?”

Uh oh. This is getting deep, I think I’d better pay attention to what the Spirit is saying to me. “Well, I was just trying to get out of here on time and getting frustrated because I did not properly plan for it. But I AM glad to know I am beautiful to you.”

“Really?”

“Well, true confession, I am glad you said it but I’m not at all sure I know what you mean by it. I feel as if I’m not really getting something, that you’re telling me something that I don’t get. You said I am beautiful to You! What does that mean? I know it’s special and I value it but what does it mean?”

“You – and all of you, my beloveds - equate beauty with the right look. The right hair, make-up, clothing, SHOES…”

“Now you know - the right shoes - I’m sorry God, please continue.”

“That’s exactly what I mean. You think your aesthetics make you beautiful. If shoes give you pleasure, then enjoy your shoes for I have given you all things to enjoy. But they mean nothing to me unless you begin to worship them. My creations worship all kinds of things that are measurements of themselves but are not measurements of my joy.”

As I hopped out of the shower I thought – yeah, this is real beautiful, half a leg from amputation surgery, half a breast from breast cancer surgery and 45 lbs overweight. Immediately I remind myself not to let my flesh enter this conversation that the Most High God has called me to because this – surely – is not what God was revealing to me. I get back to our conversation; as if He doesn’t know the thoughts I had anyway. He confirms it. “You think because the enemy has altered you, you are no longer beautiful.”

“Well, I’m certainly have been altered and I have the scars to prove it.”

“Scars are beautiful to me, some scars are visible; some are not. They show your real beauty – you had a battle and you won it! This is my joy, your victory is my triumph, it glorifies me. Do you really think the enemy can ruin my masterpiece? Remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

“Yes but Picasso created abstracts that are considered masterpieces.” Don’t you just love it when you have to prove your point to God? Who does that? We all do, we’re children and we try to justify ourselves all the time.

“Again, the abstracts may be considered beautiful by man, and well they should for you were created in my image and just as I created this world and all that is within it you have the ability to create things, beautiful things. But a Picasso is a manmade creation, a manmade masterpiece. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever I had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, I am God.”

>"Amen. Amen, You created it all Lord God and I know you as my Creator.”

“I know, so let me be clear. You were created for a purpose. Do you not know that I have plans for you? Do you not know that I have GOOD plans for you? I have plans that will exceed your expectations at every turn. I have plans that are exceeding abundantly above what your mind can conceive as long as you hear me and heed my words."

“Wow God, that’s beautiful!”

“Yes, it is my word! Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you, I sanctified you and I ordained you for my purpose. And as long as you are on the destiny path I created for you – you are beautiful to me!” Then He started preaching. “It doesn’t matter what scars you have – they are battle scars. They remind you that I am the Lord Your God and I will always be there for you. How beautiful it is to me that my enemy has on multiple times tried to kill you. And you overcame him – not because I was there but because you refused to give up and you obeyed me. It’s because your faith grew stronger and stronger and you stopped trying to cram me into that little box you all think your God should fit in. Do you know how beautiful it was when you said ‘I’ll go Lord, even when you pull me out of my comfort zone. It may take me a minute, but I will go – whatever you want of me God, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do. I only want to please you.’ Yes, when you let my glory and my light and my power work in you and through you, it is indeed most beautiful to Me.”

“Thank you God. Thank you for this communion – you are the beautiful one and I love you so. I will never forget this conversation or your words. Truly I have embedded them in my heart. And now you made me ruin my little eye makeup – but I don’t even care because it is all about you today. Souls cometh!”

“Remember, whenever you are walking on your destiny path in the lane I have directed you – I don’t care if it is red or green or short or long and as long as you do not look like the strange woman – you are beautiful to me!”

I’m now convinced that, although I have been getting ready during this conversation, I am going to be late. Looking at the clock I realize that I still have time to get there on time if I keep it moving. Funny how the presence of the Lord transcends time, I could swear it was 30-45 minutes; but it was only 20. I didn’t worry about the snow or whether the walk would be cleared or anything else. On with the boots and out the door.

While driving in I replayed the exchange and I realized that our definitions for beauty were not the same. The enemy wanted to chide me into calling God a fashionista but the enemy doesn’t scare me. I know his character and his weakness. I know my God to be strong and mighty yet loving to the point it makes you cry. I thought about all the times I asked Him how He wanted me to look since I was representing Him. Sometimes I was drawn to something different than I was thinking about and sometimes not. Now I believe He was just glad that I asked. But revelation hits - beauty is not skin deep; it is eternal because the Eternal One said so. And His vision of us, His Creation is eternal!

When I got to church, it was right on time because I went into the Ladies Room to change into my cute shoes and when I got back to my spot at the altar, the praise & worship ministry was just getting it started. I heard the music “daduh-da-duh...Send up Judah...Send up Praise”. And when one of my sisters said “OOH, you look so pretty today”, I knew she saw a beauty that came from being in the presence of the Lord. She saw me as He saw me, and I'm good with that. But what was even better was knowing that the Lord God Himself told me I'm walking in the right direction, on the right path! Look out world, truly the Lord is on my side!

“Let everything that hath breath, praise the Lord!”