~ Pre Good Friday

So, at first I was in denial. This just COULD NOT BE HAPPENING TO ME!!! Not in 2009. Not in my 10 year anniversary from the last time the devil tried to kill me. In December, 1999 my right leg was amputated below the knee because of – I’m still not sure why circulation in that leg decreased to the point where it was extremely painful. A Doppler test revealed there was no pulse below my knee and this surgeon botched up the bypass surgery that would have recreated a route for blood to travel to the foot and leg.

SIDEBAR: Always get a 2nd opinion where your health is concerned, especially if you don’t like the first one!

It took a long time to get over that event. A long time to mentally and spiritually heal; the physical healing occurred in that moment. I was 42 years old with 2 teenagers, a husband and a job and I did not have time to be immobile. But during that 10 year period God drew me into an intimacy with Him that had not existed before. It was that intimacy that caused me to write and publish my first book “Five Revelations Improve Your Relationship with God”.

When the calendar page flipped to 2009, I immediately began to think of how I would celebrate this 10 year milestone in my life. I thought me, Claudette and Tammy would fly somewhere for a girls weekend – even if it was just to Chicago. Neither of them are particularly fond of flying. I thought of having a mad gala event, inviting all. Suddenly odd little things began to happen like I lost my drivers license and auto registration. Then I locked myself out of my apartment. Oh there were lots of other annoying things like that that occurred. It didn’t help that as I found myself with cancer, the City of Southfield arranged for a towing company to come through my apartment complex looking for expired license plates. Apparently my little sticker had been “stolen” off my plate and the people who run my apartment building, the people to whom I pay rent authorized the towing of my car. The tow company notified my finance company, the court system; it was a real mess; one that I didn’t need right now.

And I sure as hell didn’t need cancer ~ ever! For over a week I searched my former husbands insurance for a doctor whose name would leap out at me when I saw it. It never happened. Finally I asked God what should I do, the answer came immediately, go see your own doctor. Now, I have a tremendous respect for my own doctor but his bedside manner leaves something to be desired and for some reason I thought that was important in this season. I thought back to the first time I saw Dr. Pierce, he was recommended by my best friend – Tammy – because her daughter (my goddaughter) had good experiences with him. One of the first things he said to me was “I hate sick people, so let’s see how to get you unsick.” It was something that impressed me and kept me there for all these years. I saw Dr. Pierce on April 12 and he was as abrupt as ever, coming in shaking hands, distractedly. “When was the last time I saw you?” he demanded in that staccato tone. Finding my answer unsatisfactory he let me know “that’s not an answer.” After reviewing what he needed to from my chart “why are you here today?” My answer evoked a response I was not prepared for, he quickly, I mean immediately looked up at me; sprang up out of his chair and morphed into action. “You need a gown, I need to examine you – let me get the nurse, I’ll be right back.”

He examined me and felt the lump. It was the day before Good Friday and oddly I was able to get an appointment that day. After God’s direction I balked at calling Dr. Pierce but I did and the receptionist informed me that Dr Pierce would be on vacation beginning Good Friday, which is when I requested the appointment. I did not explain the nature of my call and was rather surprised when she said “I’ve got one for today if you want to come in about an hour.” Hmmm, pre Good Friday grace. Right away Dr. Pierce scheduled a mammogram for me and explained that he would be gone the next week but by the time he got back the test results would be back as well.

On the following Monday I went back to his office where a van/truck thing was set up outside to do mammograms. The technician was very good, it didn’t hurt much. She felt the lump herself and as she administered the test I could see the x-ray on the screen. It was gray, like film paper, and a mysterious white rectangular shape appeared right where the lump was. Knowing what she knew the technician advised that I should have an ultrasound also. She was surprised that Dr. Pierce did not order one and figuring it was a simple oversight she called his receptionist and advised that I have the ultrasound. She knew he would want it. The receptionist called me on the cell phone and asked me to come back on Wednesday for the ultrasound.

I enjoyed reading the thank you letters to Dr. Pierce that covered the walls of the ultrasound room. I even anticipated writing one to him myself . . .once this thing is over. . . A week later we reviewed the reports and he referred me to Dr. Kestenberg, a surgeon. I thanked God for the direction, confident that Dr. Pierce still disliked sick people.

My God is Bigger Than Cancer ~ St. Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2009, certainly a memorable day because my firstborn, my manchild, my boo was born on St. Patrick’s Day in 1984. James David Roosevelt Dickson was literally trying to jump into this world feet first which of course meant caesarean section for me. Don’t get me started talking about becoming a first time mother! I was absolutely in love with this little manchild who slept in a drawer his first night at home because he didn’t have a bed yet. He was a funny kid, loved making Jessica laugh – in fact, he still does. But before Jessica came along fourteen months later, James was adorable. I like to warn parents to pay attention to the clues that kids give you about who they are. It’s not always as clearly defined as it was with James but the signs are there. When James was 2 and 3 years old he began walking around with a pencil in his hand. I caught more flak from the grandmothers “don’t let him walk around with that pencil in his hand, he’s gonna poke his eye out!” Now, I wasn’t all super-intellectually-sensitive to my son, meaning, I didn’t know why he always had a pen or pencil in hand, I just knew it was important to him. I thought he was trying to use it like a microphone so I bought him a kiddie microphone. James walked around with a pen in one hand and the microphone in the other!

He grew into a huge WWF fan and on one occasion was extremely upset at the exploits of Vince McMahon (WWF owner) and so he wrote a ‘rant’ on some website devoted to such outcry. His thesis was” Is Barnum right – is ANY publicity good publicity?” When I read my 14 year old son’s dissertation I was amazed and demanded to know who really wrote it. He was totally unaware of the maturity or artistry his writing displayed, he was simply indignant and wanted to be heard. After sending it to friends and family for their perusal I gave James two pieces of advice. The first was to take a typing class (anybody who could write like this doesn’t need to be hindered by hunt and peck!). The second was to take a journalism class. He did both and as a freshman at University of Michigan was on the editorial board of the Michigan Review. In his senior year he was editor in chief and he now is an editorial writer for the Detroit News.

So here we are celebrating James birthday the weekend prior to St. Patrick’s Day because Jessica was in town and we could all be together. I called him on the actual day . . . us Moms can’t forget the actual day! And as I retired for the night I was proud of my 25 year old son. My, the kids sure are getting old! And on St. Patrick’s Day I felt a knot in my left breast that undeniably did not belong there and had never been there. Hmm, didn’t one of the insurance companies just send me something about mammograms. . .I’d better check.

7 1/2 With Seams

Shoes and legs and pretty things
Fishnet stockings and back leg seams
Shapely calves
On the girl of your dreams
Wearing 7 ½ medium and back leg seams

“She walks in beauty like the night”
Words often quoted when appears in sight
A beautiful girl upon the scene
But it’s not her beauty shining in the light
It’s the 7 ½ walk that’s outtasight

Walk on girl, in fact strut on
Who would know a limb was gone
Seams are missing
She’s still going strong
Proudly she can still walk on

7 ½ medium and back leg seams
What do such things really mean
A little bit of vanity
Has entered the scene
survival flourishes; a size 8 scheme

Copyright Darlene C. Dickson 2002

We Always Have Hope!

Happy New Year! Now, to avoid sounding cliché might be a bit difficult because the message of hope has been around forever and is more relevant than ever today. Not sure why we ignore it but I suppose circumstances can alter our thinking. But even God has hope for us – Jeremiah 29:11 – an ‘expected end’. Merriam-Webster ties “hope” with the words “anticipate, expect, trust”.

The calendar page has flipped and we are counting down yet another year. It is unrealistic to begin this new year amidst such tumultuous economic conditions without first reverencing this first day that the Lord has made. Every day that we are able to use all of our senses (or whatever combination work for you) is a day to rejoice in. We can’t pretend there are not tragedies happening all around us – someone that we know and love has lost their life, job, son, daughter or parent. But we can’t lose our expectancy – our hope!

The scriptures say (Psalm 30:5) “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”. In fact, when you read this book, David is praising God for victory, for healing, “thou hast kept me alive”. This very book demonstrates that we must have hope as David “cried to thee, O Lord”, “made supplication” and cried “Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me: Lord, be thou my helper”. He talks about how God delivered – “Made my mountain to stand strong”, “turned for me my mourning into dancing: . .put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness”. Is that not hopeful? Then the book of love, I Corinthians:13 says the greatest gifts “are faith, hope and charity…”

We always have hope because the Bible says hope is fulfilled when we cry out to the Lord. Then we must praise Him and thank Him for saving and rescuing us, even for His promise to do so. We should “rejoice in the Lord alway” (Philippians 4:4). Verse 6 goes on to say “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God”. We are not to worry. Hope springs eternal, it’s a gift that we all have should we decide to accept and use it.

Our soon to be inaugurated president, Barack Obama, won the election not only because he is ordained for this time, but because he was able to instill a sense of hope in Americans. His confidence that he will begin to lead us in a way inclusive of all Americans with integrity and intelligence has certainly fostered an expectancy among us of great things to come. For this we should turn to God with praise and thanksgiving, making supplication then exercising our faith and love. We must use the gift we always have – HOPE!

Be blessed and be a blessing this year and expect great things!

Silent Night

I’m sitting here gathering my thoughts
As is my Christmas tradition
Mind befuddled with many doubts
The sound a sad rendition

Then I listened to the Temptations
They were singing Silent Night
I got a needed revelation
Began to think of what’s right

For there are enough sad things
Going on in the world today
Between war, death and layoffs
“What would God want me to say?”

I thought about our soldiers
Serving so far from home
And those nasty headlines read
“Detroit wants a loan!”

I thought about our new President
Saddled with a tremendous task
He speaks of hope and unity
Has the same question Kennedy asked

A question we should all ask ourselves
“What can we do for each other?”
Not ‘entitlements’; but compassion
A real caring for one another

And doesn’t that take us to the real
The meaning is Christ, is love
And wasn’t it peaceful that silent night
A manger, a starry night above

With all the turmoil going on
In our country, our world, our company
This season must be characterized
By the greatest gifts; faith, hope, charity


As you celebrate this season
These most wonderful of days
Remember how blessed we are
In all of our ways

Sharing with family and friends
Even with strangers too
Can only bring joy
To the spirit deep within you

So my wish for you
And everyone you know
Is that love rules your season
In spite of the snow

And for each and every blessing
That you give Him thanks
“There but for the grace of God”
Well, many want our place

Let’s remember those less fortunate
With our prayers and actions
Good will toward men
Will bring true satisfaction

“Bless you with love and peace”
And once again the spirit of joy
For the hope of our world rests
With a savior once a manger boy

Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas
And have not felt the love of Christ
The principles of Jesus remain true
Established on a Silent Night

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men!”
Luke 2:14

For Such a Time as This!

On November 4, 2008 history was made. Barack Obama exceeded the expectations of many who, without question, had doubts about the legitimacy of the American voting system. Many who only got the legal right to vote in 1965 could not believe they would ever see the day an African American man would be elected to the United States presidency. Me, I absorbed many varied opinions and trains of thought. Without question my opinion was guided by the words that were coming out of the candidates mouths.

John McCain’s opinions on the war, the financial state of the country and that nasty, public comment he made to his wife who teased him about losing hair all sufficed to draw that circle with the line through it on his face. Instead, I heard Barack Obama talk about unity and holding corporations accountable by saying if they want tax breaks they need to NOT outsource American jobs to other countries. He spoke of health care reform and God knows we need it. I think that’s the real point – God knows what we need.

I have to take a slight detour to talk about the effects on my son – you read his article in the Detroit News didn’t you? “Chance to Make History With Vote Too Strong to Ignore” raised quite a ruckus and many responded that James must be racist because he viewed his vote as an opportunity to make history. James likes to stir the pot and I think he enjoyed the ensuing dialog. I think about the effects on my daughter who is a rainbow coalition all by herself and who was disturbed by harsh, unloving words from Christian friends. Many in her coalition are white and quick to say this election should not be about race because race doesn’t matter. They could not understand that, as she points out, “race does matter, it will always matter because I will always be black.” And I’ve heard many so-called Christian conservatives say they don’t understand how people could vote for a baby killer, as if this election hung in the balance based on views about abortion!

Still on detour, my Pastor – you know I attend Detroit World Outreach, Ben Gibert is the Senior Pastor – spoke about answered prayer. He’s taught on this before, especially during celebrations honoring the legacy of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It’s the I Have a Dream speech. He says the problem is we refer to it as a speech but Dr. King was a man of God and it was a sermon, not a speech. Further, the world heard the speech on that historic day in Washington DC, but Rev. King preached that sermon in Detroit a month or so earlier. That prophetic sermon is a founding principle of Detroit World Outreach “A Church for all Colors”.

How many times have we seen that clip of Rev. King delivering the message in Washington DC? We know the words don’t we – “I may not get there with you but I have seen the mountain top…I have a dream that one day…content of their character not the color of their skin.” We like to credit that sermon to his theological background or his oratorical skills but dreams are prophetic impressions from God. The election of Barack Obama was the proof of Rev. Kings prophetic dream!

Let’s face it, if America is being judged for it’s evil, greed and lack of ethics then it stands to reason America can celebrate a man whose message is one of hope and prosperity; of ethics and freedom. These are qualities God himself seeks in His leaders. Clearly Obama is a man anointed for this job at this time. Clearly he is a man designated to help this country heal by uniting it as never before. Oh how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! (Psalm 133:1) Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand (Matthew 12:25)

Standing in Line

My son sent me a quote that I found extremely prophetic and eloquent. Think of this: “Rosa sat so Martin could walk. Martin walked so Obama could run. Obama is running so our children can fly.” Talk about a piece of history! Talk about trees bearing fruit; about the audacity of hope.

It wasn’t so long ago that our family watched Eyes on the Prize on the public television station. Our children watched first hand accounts of how blacks were treated and mis-treated. They watched the leaders of the Civil Rights movement strategize and execute plans that demanded equality for blacks in this country. They saw how we evolved from slaves to niggers to Negroes to Black and Proud to African Americans. And while they grew up in ethnically diverse communities, their grandmothers cosigned the stories we watched. How can you forget the images of the hoses and dogs unleashed on Americans who only wanted to live the American dream? How can you forget sitting on the back of the bus or the dead Negro hanging from a tree? What about the four little girls?

We’ve come a long way baby! This past February I searched all 800 cable channels (ok, not that many but it seemed so) and there were no programs celebrating Black History Month. I wondered how the young people today would even know about our struggles because for sure they watch TV. Today I read an article about 109 year old Amanda Jones who mailed in her vote for Barack Obama. Mrs. Jones never in her life thought she’d have a chance to see an African American man elected President of the United States. My how we’ve changed and yes, change has been a long time coming.

But let’s see how far we’ve really come because I remember a big part of the Civil Rights movement was to make sure we were registered and allowed to vote. Do you realize that it’s only been since 1965 that we’ve had that right? That people have actually died so that we can experience that American duty? The quote is so beautiful because when Rosa Parks sat, she actually took a stand. She stood against segregation and racism. When Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. walked with hundreds of thousands to Selma and Washington DC etc., he actually took a stand. He stood so that one day his dream that we are recognized by the content of our character, not the color of our skin, would be realized. Barack Obama took a stand when he decided to run. He stood so that our country, while built on the backs of our ancestors, would come together as the founding fathers envisioned. He is standing so that each American has unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. He is standing so there are no barriers that education, hard work, passion, a love of God and of country – no barriers can stand in the way of reaching our destiny!

Now we have to stand. We have to stand in line and cast our vote. It is our right, our obligation – no, our duty to stand until the last man in line has pushed the button. History is ours for the taking and the making but only if we’re willing to stand. Stand so your children can fly!